The dark night of the Soul ? – Neo Van de Velde

The dark night of the Soul


You hear this expression coming up in some conversations, but what is it exactly ?

What do people mean by it when they say this.
Unfortunately a lot of people who mention this do not really know what it means and did not really experience it.
It is not because you experienced a rough time in your life – like after a loss of a lover, friend, family member, pet, … that you went trough the dark night of the Soul.

The dark night of the soul is a process many spiritual seekers go through at some point in their lives, I being one of them.
It came happen to you or you can go on an inner search and quest within. (Like a walk about – how the Aboriginals call it.)

Only a few who really experienced the full spectrum of it also talk about it, and I will. (I passed it already many years ago. You can find referenced to it in my other writings)

A lot of the times, we are being told to be happy, look at the bright side of life, be positive, …but none of this will be lasting until you have loved the dark.
It’s a process of self confrontation. A confrontation with yourself and the self with the world as you observe it to be. It’s a process of dying and being reborn, it’s a transformation of the phoenix, dying and being reborn from your own ashes.
The process can be experienced as painful but it is a battle field with love for self as the warrior.
Even though this is a very beautiful and sacred process, it can be perceived at the time as very difficult. This is because a lot of us look for the light only and try to run away from the dark, not realizing that the dark will only grow larger the more you ignore it. Especially when you are in the thick of the fog. This is why it is called the dark night of the soul.

When you are in a Dark Night, you are in a “spiritual depression,”

You are not depressed because of someone or something, it just naturally emerged.  You feel miserable to say the least and you don’t know why.  You try everything to break yourself out of it and NOTHING works.  The more you try to get out of the Dark Night, the more it will persist – guilt, shame, frustration, helplessness, anger, sadness, self-pity, loneliness.


During the Dark Night you feel totally alone and nobody can even help you, you have to go trough it alone by ourself. You not only feel alone, you also want to be alone in his time.

The only way out is going within and to allow the process.

Fear is the biggest enemy in life (in general) and now too you can get stuck, even paralyzed by your fears. Be ready for a fears fight with your ego !

When we are in the Dark Night, we want to get out of it so much because we cannot take the pain and suffering, but when you realize that you are in it because your soul truly wants to be in it and that you can let go at any time, you can accept this process as inevitable.  This will speed up your process because you are embracing it and not resisting it anymore.


The next step is to do NOTHING.
Doing NOTHING in this context means simply to BE.
Now, this may seem simple, but coming from an ego’s point of view this is impossible and symbolizes “death” for the ego.  The ego will make so much noise telling you lies and trying to get you to worry and be fearful or to “control,” but you are not these thoughts or feelings.
The more you resist the Dark Night or the “stuck” place you are in, the more you keep repeating the lessons you need to learn.  Accept and embrace where you are NOW.
Know that ALL happens for a reason !
Know you will get out of this and be stronger then before.
When you allow everything to happen as it is you will become a new person. ( I did)